iLive In Secret
by obsessive-elphaba
Summary: Ever since “iCarly Saves TV,” Sam and Freddie have a secret. And no one knows… No one except Spencer, that is! Seddie/Fram ABANDONED
1. Chapter 1

Ever since "iCarly Saves TV," Sam and Freddie have a secret. And no one knows… No one except Spencer, that is!

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Prologue/iCarly Saves TV:

I can't remember how exactly this happened, but all I remember is Carly's wacky older brother walking through the door and screaming, "OH MY GOD!" And some other stuff I probably shouldn't put on there for little kids. I open my eyes and take control of myself yet again. Simultaneously as it seems, the two of us slowly inch away from each other on the couch until my side hurts because of the armrest. "HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?" Spencer is obviously more freaked out than I am.

"I don't know." I say back, standing up frustrated.

"You don't know! How do you not know? You were right there–"

"I know that!" I snap. We don't need a reminder. "I just don't know how it happened!" I groan. It was kind of shocking as well that me of all people would be sitting in my best friend's living room sucking face with the biggest dork in Seattle – especially when the said dork has the biggest crush on Carly Shay.

Spencer seems literally confused. "But I left ten minutes ago. It took you guys that long to…" He trails off. The process of explaining me Freddie and me's relationship would be impossible.

Strangely, the dork has just been sitting there the whole time. Having his own little mental dork fight. He's been so unfaithful to his beloved Carls. It was a rather odd experiment for the both of us. Just, I got fired from the show, and then Freddie quit, and we were left alone. I guess Spencer's surprised we didn't kill each other. I'm just glad Carly didn't catch us. Can you spell never-ending harassment? "I don't know what happened!" I slammed my head into a pillow. After five seconds of silence I mumble, "Please, don't tell Carly." I'm sure as hell Freddie would have no trouble agreeing.

"I won't." Spencer says, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. "It's okay you guys kissed." He tried. "I mean, you don't always have to be going out… or like each other… or want to tell people…"

"Not helping, Spence." I mutter.

"Oh, sorry." He gasped.

"Hey, Benson." I call. "I still hate you." I get no reply, but that settles the deal. No more discussions about it.

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**A/N: **_Short prologue! But, leave a review and I'll work on the next episode in this story: iSaw Him First! Hope you like it._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **_Okay, I am gonna try to do this as best I can. Please bare with me if I make mistakes (whatever you (or I) think they might be) and review! __**REVIEW or I no post more!**__ Actually, I will try to post more. I just love feedback :)_

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iSaw Him First

Everything's back to normal again. It has been nearly two weeks since the whole… incident. Spencer still watches us like a hawk, though, and I've developed a theory about barbeque sauce and how it caused me to act in that way. I blame the ribs. Well, we're doing iCarly and in the middle of the craziest bit yet when in walks the cutest guy… I can see a ton of man candy right there. But we stumble on and do the show as planned. I found out his name is Shane, and he's in the AV club with Fredweird. That, right there, is a turn-off. Anyone associated with anything Freddie is a dork no matter how hot he is. I do sort of feel possessive over him though. I mean; I saw him first. Carly says she wants to ask him out. I am not going to give away my new… whatever it is I decide to call him! We agree to both dating him, much to the dismay of Freddie, who loves Carly with his dear soul. While Carly is off on her date, we two had to sit and watch Girly Cow on her sofa. Ironically, I just got back from my date with Shane so I actually have more-than-casual clothing on. "So Freddie…" I muse in a mocking voice. He turns to me, catching my sarcastic tone. "What do you think Carly and Shane are doing? All alone. In a dark theatre. Where _no one _can see them." I have to say, loaning out Shane has gotten me some great harassment technique going. I'm getting inside his head. If I say something about Carly and Shane going to Groovy Smoothie, I get a free Blueberry Blast. (A/N: I forget what it's called.) If I hint they're at Galini's, I get free pie. My favorite, if I tell him they're at the movies, I can see Cavemom 3, eat popcorn, and drink soda for the same price – FREE!

"Nice try, Sam, but I'm not gonna take you to the movies just so you can lap it up, and I'm disappointed because 'Oh it's the wrong theatre' or 'I must've mistaken it for another title.'" He sighs. Okay, so now he figures me out. "Carly is aloud to date whomever she wants." He shrugs and stands up to get something from the kitchen.

"Well, will you at least get me a Peppy Cola?" I ask.

"Get it yourself."

"Ughhhhhhhh…" I groan loudly. I hear Spencer's footsteps on the stairs.

"Fine." He drones. I got my own personal dumb waiter. He tends to my every want. Carly comes back from her date and I smile. "How was it, Carls?" But the irking doesn't get to Freddie.

"Fun…" She's obviously a little embarrassed. Probably hasn't gotten that kiss thing that she wants to win so much. She does want to date him.

I don't even know why I'm still fighting for him. Shane and I act more like friends than girlfriend and boyfriend. It would look cute him and Carly though. Did I say cute? Gross.

I walk up to the fire escape after finding out that Carly is inviting Shane over to study. I'm followed by a person I really don't want to see. "Go away, please." I scowl.

"No." His voice is deeper than usual.

"Please." I sigh.

"No." his arm rests on my shoulder. "Are you jealous of Carly?" He asks.

"Not at all." I almost laugh. "Just out here to think… about something that has nothing to do with Carly." I shrug.

"What's wrong?" He sits right beside me.

I shrug again. "Once there were these two kids who got sucked up in the life of working on television. They come home one day and stuff happens. Why?" I still never figured out why! I had two weeks to figure out why I kissed that… weasel!

Freddie bites his lip. "Stress… along with teenage hormones could've caused it; thus meaning it meant nothing." He shrugged.

"But out of all the nubs, they picked you." I raise an eyebrow. "I mean, you of all people? We hate each other!"

"So I've heard." He mutters, sounding deeply hurt. For the first time in ever, I think, I didn't know why he was upset. Most likely because that wasn't a jab.

"What?" I ask.

"It's nothing." And I don't feel like persisting him farther. He smiles. "You want to go to Groovy Smoothie?"

"No." I say.

"What? Sam Puckett refusing food?" He sounds astonished.

"Just not in the mood." I still can't help but wonder what is bothering him.

There is a long silence. "Man, Carly's probably in their swapping spit with Shane already."

I'm in the middle of my "typical Freddork" mind rant. No duh that was what was getting to him. He detests everything male that Carly even subtly looks at – except Gibby… but I'm not really sure he's male either.

"That means you lost." He adds, just to get to me. I make no acknowledgement to the matter for five seconds. Then I couldn't help it. Something made me want to help him, and I just followed through with that action and walked upstairs.

And now I'm in the hospital feeling really guilty for ruining Carly's moment. It could've been a great relationship they shared. I went and ruined it all – and for Freddie! That's what really got to me. I had to keep my cool though, so as soon as food popped up, I was all over it. Ugh… I really have to figure me out before I try anything else new.

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**A/N: **_Well, here it is, chapter two. A brief sum of what happened in that episode. Hmm… I might make up some episodes. Would that be interesting? I mean, I can do all of season two, and by that time iFight Shelby Marx should be out… maybe even iThink They Kissed!!!! Yayz! I have to know what happens then! Review please. :)_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **_Hey guys! Thank you all so much for your reviews! I love hearing from you peeplez! It is really inspiring because you guys are really really really nice. So I'm going to give you the same message I gave last time – __**REVIEW! **__I let anonymous reviews pass so don't gimme that._

_Hugs and Love_

**~fandango2girl**

_Btw, thank you Green Day for inspiring me furthermore with your song "American Idiot." And I forgot to thank idancex33 for overall credit. This plot bunny would've never appeared if Sam hadn't winked at Freddie in "iWant To Check In"._

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iStage An Intervention

It was just a prank. Consuela's revenge! Who would've believed that? Freddie didn't, yet Carly did. That sort of freaked me out because Carly is supposed to be the smart one… though I guess that didn't necessarily mean literal one. Freddie was the literal one. It was my first day on the job, which coincidentally was Fredward's laundry day. I picked his lock and snaked through his house. It was three a.m. The Bensons were tucked in their beds; visions of clean floors run through their heads. At least that was what was running through my head as I tripped on the freshly mopped hardwood. Hadn't these people heard of a "Caution Wet Floor" sign? Its necessary precaution – Ms. B loves that stuff! As I fell flat on my face, "Hello?" mumbled an annoyingly familiar voice of the tech-nerd. I sat up. He stared at me for a minute. "Sam?"

"Who?" I ask in a high-pitched girly voice. I know for a fact that Freddie's favorite dreams are when Carly is in love with him and I don't exist. "It's me Carly."

"Oh." He smiled. Suddenly my blond hair became brunette in his eyes, and I was the girl of his dreams – literally. "What are you doing here?"

"I had a nightmare." I frown. "I was really scared."

"Aww, does someone need a hug?" He seemed really pleased with himself for coming up with that idea. Idiot.

"Yes." Okay, gross. But I was Carly, and I had to act. He wrapped his arms around me and I smirked at how much harassment this would get him. "It was so scary all alone in my bedroom."

"Don't be afraid, Carls." Okay, why did he call her Carls? That was my nickname for Carly, and he never used it. "You can sleep here."

"Really?" Okay, grosser. The dork actually had visions of _sleeping _with Carly. Its one thing to think that way about girls in general, but Carls is my best friend! I shivered a bit under his arms.

"Yeah, I'll get my night light, so if you wake up, you won't be so afraid." He led me to the couch in the living room. Okay, I felt a bit relieved that he wasn't thinking about _that_. I did feel a small smirk cover my face. The dork had a night light. When he finally went back to bed – I was surprised he didn't kiss Carly goodnight – I stood up and set out to finish my task. In his washer were the whites that he would soon be wearing. I smirk and pull off one of my red socks and drop it into the load.

"Little present from Carly Shay." I mutter. Does anyone else notice the way my voice is angry?

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

I grin as Carly opens the door. "Hey, I thought you'd be with Freddie."

"If anyone else said that to me, I'd punch them in the mouth." I waltz right in.

"Sorry, he just called saying he needed to borrow a tennis racket."

"Yeah, I don't care." I say. In reality, I couldn't wait to see Freddork in his tennis shorts. He always wears those white baggy shorts to tennis (wait… why do I know this stuff?), but that's different since last night. As Freddie walks in, I smirk. Was it really that easy to mess with Freddie? I bite my lip. The shorts actually look pretty good, with the yellow shirt and all. It's very eastery. He gets the tennis racket and looks at me suspiciously. "Uh, hey, pink pants…" I mutter. He scowls a bit and starts ranting on and on. Something tells me those shorts wouldn't have looked so good white… not really a Freddork color. I sigh and think about nearly a week ago. Carly is still all glum about that, though she tries to cover it up. I feel so guilty. I caused it! And if it weren't bad enough, I caused it for Fredward Benson! I hate him!

Freddie grumpily leaves after one more glaring look at me. "See ya later, pink pants." I grin. Carly sits down by me on the couch and turns on the teevo. That's when I know something crazy is up – Carly never turned on the TV; that was my job. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing, it's just insane." She replies, smiling a mini smile.

"What?" I pray it is un-Shane-related.

"Freddie." I mentally faint with relief. "He hasn't even tried asking me out for weeks." Carly laughs to herself. "It's just weird."

"How many weeks?" I ask, a bit suspicious for his undying love of Carls.

"I dunno… about a month really." She shrugs. I mentally slap myself. "Why?"

"Hey, he broke a record. Maybe the dork got over you." I say just to cover it up.

"Uh, finally!" Carly rolls her eyes. "Freddie's great, but it's so annoying his whole crush thing."

"I beg to differ. Freddie is not great, but yes, his crush is annoying." I nod.

Carly chortles. "Hey, you wanna go to Groovy Smoothie?" She asks.

"Sure." I smile. "I'm up for some Strawberry Swirl!"

"You know they got that new Key Lime Pie smoothie thing?"

"Gross. Any smoothie made out of pie has to be disgusting." I shutter.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

It's been a few days, and yet again I am sneaking into Fredweird's house. I have to be extra careful here because I have to actually go into his room. I hear distant voices and notice Freddie talking in his sleep. "I'll get you Skynots!" He mumbles.

I smirk. "Freddie, this is Jobi San Lenobi! The Skynots are gaining on you!"

"What? Jobi San, where?"

"Oh no! They got you!" I gasp.

"What! No! Jobi San, speak to me!" He nearly shouted. I can't believe the dork is dreaming about Galaxy Wars. Down to business, though. I walk slowly over his laptop, mess with the battery panel for a while, and it is done…

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

Tomorrow we have iCarly, and Carls and I are checking our email. "Hey did you get an invite to Karen Franklin's party?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't." I frown.

"Maybe because you always call her a dumb fudge wad?" Carly suggested.

"Yeah… but I still like to party…" I mutter. Today I had pulled the best prank yet! I broke Freddie's bike and got to eat his lunch. It's strange; his lunatic mom makes great BLT! After talking to Carly for a few more minutes. I just had to! The guilt was killing me. So, I'll pull pranks _for _him, but I can't pull it _on _him. Come on, that's the stupidest thing ever! I pull pranks on Freddie all the time. That's when it happened. "Oh my god!" I shout and jump up from my beanbag.

"What?" Carly asked.

"Gary Wolf!" I squeal – almost. "He text me!" Carly consists of asking random questions about the phenomenon that had occurred on my phone screen. I leave Bushwell very quickly. Halfway down the block I stop and check my phone. I slap myself in the face. How could I have been so stupid? This was Freddie's doing! Why would Gary Wolf even text me in the first place. I storm back to Bushwell but stop at the door. I need to think this through. Freddie had never… gotten me back before. He always fought back and feebly accepts defeat afterward. I stroll home, kicking a pebble. Great, now not only did I have to figure myself out but Benson as well!

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_All done! Okay, I am going to skip the next three for multiple reasons. 1. I am EAGER to get to iKiss!!!!!!! I have a surprise in that one! Oh-oh. 2. iOwe You is so much Sam and not enough Seddie. 3. iHurt Lewbert… well, I can't say I particularly liked that one so much. And 4. iGo To Japan is faaaaaaaaaar too long for my one-shot run world. :) I'm surprised this is multi-chapter, but iGuess you can say Seddie needs more explanation to be understood… __**REVIEW or my new friend's bodyguard Bob will come and get you!**_

_**~fandango2girl**_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **_So here is iPie. I saw this and immediately loved it! Well… here goes! __**REVIEW OR I WILL TAKE ULTRA SUPER DUPER LONG BREAK AND YOU WON'T KNOW MY iKISS SECRET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **__OMFG! iKISS IS ON NOW!!!! :))))_

**~fandango2girl**

_PS: Do you guys think I should do my own episode for iChristmas? I mean, I know it isn't anywhere near the time, but Seddie Christmas is always so fun. I can even base it off during the time of Carly's nightmare… obviously that means she's not there…_

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My mouth waters as we enter the scene of Galini's. I can't believe Freddie hadn't tasted this stuff! It was amazing to the taste buds, like heaven in a pie… well food altogether is heaven… but this is completely different. It's as good as stuffing three dorks in one locker and pissing Miss Briggs off! We watch him anxiously and I smile as his face lights up with the sane pleasure of the phenomenon that is Coconut Cream Pie. His eyes meet mine, and he nods. "You guys were right…" He moaned. I took him to Galini's at least four times during Carls' dates with Shane… the only thing I remember all him doing is complain about me wiping my hands on his shirt, and I would respond by flinging pie at him. I don't remember him ever eating any. Weirdo.

"Told ya!" I smile. Man, I wouldn't have expected that to be with this dork up in the studio looking up the recipe for the endangered dessert. "Hey, did you find anything?"

"No." He sighs. "Just a commercial for that new chick movie coming out."

"The First Kiss?" I ask.

"Yep. That's got to be the dumbest movie ever." He rolled his eyes.

"I know, but Carly is dying to see it." I smirk. "Just another reason why you two aren't meant to be."

"Who are you suggesting I'm meant for?" He challenges.

I look at him solemnly for a second. "Do you _really _want me to answer that?"

He looks scared for a while then thoughtful. "No." He sighs.

I smile. "Eh, why are we doing this anyway? We aren't going to find it on Zaplook. Galini kept it a secret." I grumble.

"What else could we do?"

"Well, I could take a nap, and you could find yourself a girlfriend." I fire at him.

"What's that movie 'The First Kiss' about?" He asked.

"Girl gets her first kiss at age sixteen or what not, and then it starts a love triangle and in the end they'll probably just end up the other girl loses." I shrug. "Just another overly-predictable teen chick flicks that is our duty to see."

"You don't have to go see it." Freddie suggests.

"Yeah, I do. It's like a tradition for me and Carls to see bad movies together." I pause. "Why are you giving me advice?" That was way out of character for him.

"I dunno. Hey, you want to go to Groovy Smoothie? I'll get you a Strawberry Splat." He tried. I noticed that he would bribe me with food if he didn't want to tell me something.

I stared at him for a while. "Are you sure everything is okay?" I stare him right in the eye. I hate him, but, come on, if he's depressed already, what's the point of even harassing him? Deep, deep, deep down in his Oreo-colored eyes I see a small twinkle. Is he really sad? But… a small genuine smile graced his features. It's real happiness?

"I'm fine except I'm dying to try the Key Lime Pie Smoothie." He says. For once, it's me who rolls my eyes at his bringing up food.

We head to Groovy Smoothie anyway. He hands me the Strawberry Splat in his hand and sits at the table. I take one sip of it while he samples his (ironically enough) pie flavored beverage. "Do you think we're avoiding the kiss?" I blurt.

He does a spit-take and coughs a bit. He stares at me like a deer in headlights. "Man that's a terrible flavor!"

I frown. "Seriously. We have to decide some standards. I mean… its killing me." I couldn't believe it. I've had to deal with my mom dating a clown, walking in on Spencer's shower (he should really lock the door…) and actually touched Lewbert's wart without it getting to me. Now, all of a sudden I get my first kiss and it destroys my mind. It takes me over like an alien takes over a planet – excluding earth – very easily. The fact that I'm admitting this to Freddie kills me even more.

"Yeah…" he mutters, that same look of hurt in his eyes. "Uhm, I guess we should just keep it a secret. I mean, we don't need the pressure to start dating on us any more than the fans supply."

"For once, I agree." I nod. "I don't have to worry about it, plus I can still make fun of you." That conversation led to me getting more pumped up about this memorial. The discovery of the recipes was my doing – no, Fredwina did not have anything to do with it. We all share a piece of pie to celebrate the greatness of it.

"Spoon clank!" Carly cheered.

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_Okay, obviously shorter than usual. Last chance people, should I make up an iChristmas or just skip on to iKiss? I know it isn't anywhere near X-mas (at least when I write this) but who doesn't love a good Seddie Christmas? Review with the answers. By the way, I have a lot of people to thank for this. Dan Schneider, for creating it. Nickelodeon, for making an iCarly Webiest Wednesday and playing iDate A Bad Boy (perfectly Creddie-free and Seddie-full of part one) though it was overly built up that I didn't enjoy it as much as guessing his secret. :( And the author… I think its xxSimplySeddiexx or something like that – I'm obviously not good with names. So if you're reading this, contact me so I can fix your username pronto. One of her stories inspired me for this chapter. (I pick up inspiration from a lot of stuff)__** REVIEW pwetty pwease **__(ew I'm being girly… gotta stop)_

**~fandango2girl**


	5. iKiss

**A/N: **_I know I wasn't going to post, but you guys haven't reviewed, so I'll just go on to iKiss because __**NO ONE REVIEWED! **__I mean it this time though. If you guys don't review, I will stop posting. And this is the good part. Seddie-filled.

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_

iKiss

I will always and forever remenber today because, for the first time, Freddie had got me. He actually really got me. Today at school, soon after sixth period, he handcuffed me to the shirtless wnder himself – Gibby. Well, that didn't suit me well. After violently (nearly breaking bones) retrieving the keys from the idiot who locked me in the first place (don't ask me how), I went to see a movie with Carly. "The First Kiss" sucked, but it got me thinking. How come I didn't know who my best friend's first kiss was yet? After finding out it was that nub Ben Hoopsher. Then I got hungry. When going to ask for money, I listen to Carly's and Freddie's conversation. "So who was your first kiss?" She asked casually.

"You don't need to know." Freddie smiled.

"I most certainly do need to know!" Carly exclaimed.

The dork was too afraid to tell Carly he kissed someone other than her. After a few moments of pestering the dork said, "I haven't had my first kiss."

Okay, I know for a fact that _that _wasn't true! I felt shocked because I had been his first kiss but saddened. Why? He was embarrassed of me. He didn't even want to pretend it happened. Sure, it's not like it mattered to me really – but when a guy, and I'm pretty sure Freddie's one of them, rejects you like that, is so ashamed of you he doesn't want any part of you, you feel bad. And, contrary to popular belief, I do feel things. I feel them very strongly. I choose not to show them, but I have them. Infuriated, I run out the apartment. Freddie Benson was my prey. I would catch him, slaughter him, and then eat him like a meatball.

* * *

Today we do iCarly, my scheme is planned. I know what I am going to do. "Well that pretty much wraps up the show for tonight-" Carly starts but I interrupt.

"Wait." She looks at me, but I stay focused on the camera. You all know our technical producer Freddie. Freddie, show yourself to the people."

He awkwardly turns the camera to face himself. "Hello?" He says.

"That was Freddie who last week, handcuffed me to a nerd, so guess what? Freddie hasn't kissed a girl. Not one. Never. I heard him say so myself, and Carly's a witness." I narrow my eyes looking straight at him as if to say the three words running through my head – I hate you. "Okay, bye!" I walk off, Carly yapping behind me.

"Sam! You just ruined Freddie's life!" Perfect.

But that feeling doesn't last long. After a straight week of him being teased, me not being able to make him groan with my insults, I started to get a different vibe. Every few days I would peek into the fire escape, and there he would be. Sitting, staring off the balcony in his lawn chair. I feel a small ping of guilt in my chest, and now it's official that I am the dumbest person on earth. Now it's about time for iCarly. And I am forced to feel even more depressed when Carly says "You like ruined his whole life, and you don't even care." That is so wrong. I do care. I really _really _do care about Freddie. No matter how much I hate to admit it. Freddie and I are good friends, and don't like seeing him hurt – unless I'm hurting him. I do the unexpected. "I have a confession..." I turn the music off with my remote. "Last week, on the show, I told you guys Freddie never kissed anyone..." I sigh. "Well, that was really personal, and I shouldn't have said it on the show." I pause and side glance at Carly. She looks shocked. "And for all of you people who have been teasing Freddie, lay off because I bet a whole bunch of you haven't kissed anyone either." I bite my lip. "Including me... yeah, that's right. I haven't kissed anyone, so if you wanna tease someone, tease me which is a bad idea unless you live near a hospital." I finish by bowing my head, but Carly is way ahead of me. She stops the show while I head down to talk to Freddie.

As I sit on the window seal of the fire escape, the back of Freddie's head looks so hurt. I cut him so deep. As if mentally sensing my existence, he turns around. "Hey." he says. There is an awkward pause. It wasn't unexpected. "That was very brave... what you said."

"You heard?" I ask, skeptical.

"You didn't think I'd miss iCarly?" He reveals to me his silver Pearbook. We pause yet again. "Sam, why did you say that in the first place?"

"What do you mean?" I say, obviously I had a right.

"You of all people should know I've had my first kiss." He looks at me sternly.

"Well it would've been easier to remember if you hadn't told Carly otherwise!" My eyes narrow, and my voice raises.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard you tell her you never kissed anyone. Even if I don't care about a dork like you, it still hurt." I snap. He wasn't getting off the hook that easily.

"I'm sorry." He said. "But, why did you say you never kissed anyone?"

"If our little make-out session didn't count, I'm still a kissless loser." I sigh.

"But what about that Buddy Hinton guy. You kissed him." He conflicted.

I sigh. "Buddy Hinton is the name of the drummer in Cuttlefish. They announced it at the concert."

"Oh." And its awkward again. "May I ask you something?" He finally asks. I shrug slowly to reply. "Did you ever figure out _why _we kissed in the first place?"

I stiffen in my seat. I didn't even have a clever theory. Most people would say "Oh you like him. You totally have a crush on him," and I would say "No I don't." But that was getting somewhat less of a fact in my head. If we kissed for no reason whatsoever, just because... doesn't that mean at least one likes the other? And why not be the first to be the sure one. "Freddie... I think..." I pause. No, I was not ready to face rejection and watch him struggle to eventually win over my best friend's heart and live happily ever after, and all the while I'm all alone.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

"It's just..."

"Say it." He pushed on.

I close my eyes. "I think..." I pause, glance at him shortly then look over the balcony. "I think I might like you..." I close my eyes, preparing to hear that small chuckle and then a "What?"

"Really?" He asked, eyebrow raised.

I nod slowly, and open my eyes. "Yeah..." I watch him think for a while. Maybe a few seconds, but to me those seconds are days, dragging on and on. Just reject me already! Won't ya?

"It's crazy..." He says. There's the chuckle. "I think I might like you, too..."

My eyes shoot open wide. "_Really_?" I ask with extra implication. This was me, Sam Puckett, not the beautiful prissy Carly Shay that he always loved.

"Yeah..." he answered softly. We sit in silence for a while, not really sure what to do. "What should we do?"

"I don't know..." I mumble. "I'm not sure I like you yet, though." What was I kidding? Of course I liked him! What was I waiting for?

"Yeah, me either..." He nods.

"How do we find out, then?" I ask. This ought to be interesting.

"We could... maybe..." Spit it out, boy. "Kiss?" He's nearly inaudible on the last part.

"Kiss?" I repeat, as if examining the suggestion seriously.

"Should we?" He sounds a little frightened, like I would pounce at him an rip him to shreds. "To see where to take things?"

I bite my lip. Me kiss Freddie? I feel like I'm being dishonest to my code of conduct by just liking him. "To see where to take things..." I nod a bit.

We stare at each other a bit, eyes sparkling. Our lips touch slowly, and that's when I start hating myself. Its the stupidest thing ever to see fireworks when kissing the guy you like. It's so dumb and girly. No way I'd tell him that. We pull away after eight and a half seconds. I counted them just to keep my mind from drifting. He looks to me expectantly. "Well?"

"Well..." I smile a little smug grin. "I think I want to try that again."

He chuckles. "Same. So... now what?"

"Gosh, do I have to do everything..." I sigh. "Well, a normal boy and girl would start going out." I mutter. It scares me the fact that _Freddie _is actually considering right now if he wants to go out with me. ME! Samantha Puckett, archenemy. "But..." I say. "I kinda don't want anyone to know I'm dating you..." Freddie raises his eyebrow. "It's just... so out of nowhere. You and I hate each other. We just had a huge issue. If you not having your first kiss started such a riot, then us dating would get at least double the harassment. We'd be stuck in here for the rest of our lives."

"You're right." Freddie nods. "It'll be way too complicated." He raises an eyebrow. "So what exactly do we do then?"

I smile. "It's simple. We kill each other in public, and when we're alone, we can do the whole cheesy couple thing."

He chuckles. "Cheesy is it."

"Yeah, and not the good kind."

"You mean blue cheese?" Hes smiling now.

"Yeah. Mr. and Mrs. Blue Cheese."

**A/N: **_That's all folks! A little twist on iKiss. Haha. I did actually see their eyes sparkling right before the kiss when they're staring at each other. Such a wonderful moment in iCarly history! Anyway, Seddie-filled chapters are after this (obviously) and I have another huge surprise for iDate A Bad Boy! :) oh great fandango, what is it? You have to review so I get there faster. More reviews, more love. Xoxoxo_

**~fandango2girl**


	6. Chapter 6

_Hi, guys. I just wanted to apologize for abandoning this story like I had. Some things have changed since last time, like for instance I changed my name. It's now obsessive-elphaba because of my recent discovery of Wicked, musical and book. Also, I had most of iRocked The Vote finished, but my computer crashed and it wasn't there anymore. Luckily iDiscovered Google Docs so it shouldn't happen :) Also, my cat is sleeping in between my arms making it kind of uncomfortable to type. So any typos please excuse. I have no beta :( Also, what'd you think of David's acting in the show? Not the best right. Having a singer not sing is just bull. Mmmm'k please review.  
~obsessive-elphaba_

On iCarly tonight, we were answering another question from our viewers. Freddie read it aloud. "Dear Carly, don't you think it would be AWESOME to be Freddie's girlfriend?" He looks up.

"Read the real question!" I snap. Yeah, yeah, I know I shouldn't be jealous when I already got the guy, but come on. He gives me a small reassuring smile, to which I return. After a picture of Carls and me with purple troll hair - which would be really awesome to have - it was time.

We were using the serious lights. iCarly tonight has a grand announcement! The fans MUST MUST MUST vote for David Archuleta on America Sings. Wade Collins is alright, but David is AWESOME. After the show ended, Freddie and I went to the fire escape and answer the questions from our fans. We sort of made the fire escape our secret hideout because no one really goes down there "Okay, here's another one!" He laughed. "When are Sam and Freddie going to get together? They're absolutely the cutest couple ever." We laugh a bit.

"Gimme the computer. How about, nothing can be _cute_ if it has anything to do with Freddork. Sorry, dude, it just ain't happening." I smile.

"That's mean." He pouted.

"Too late, I already sent it." I smirk before flicking him on the forehead. "Here's a possible iCarly bit. Someone suggested that one of us spins on one of those wheels things while the other two throw bags of mayonnaise at them with blindfolds."

"Lemme guess, you want to throw mayo at me?"

"Yes, with all my heart." I beg. I know I shouldn't be doing such a thing to my boyfriend, but I haven't changed just because of the dork. I am NOT going soft on him. Hehe.

"No, gross." He shivered.

"Please, for me." I smile sweetly.

"Not happening."

"That always worked for Carly!" I pout. He rolled his eyes. I wait five seconds before bringing him in for a kiss. After I pull away, I meet him eye to eye. "It would make me soooo happy if you did this for me. Just once. Please." He nods a bit. I smirk and let go of his face.

Freddie blinks a little. "Awww, no fair!" He groans. I smirk yet again.

"We gotta go, America Sings is on!" I run out of the fire escape.

"So much for the cheesy couple stuff..." He mutters, following behind.

And America Sings was absolutely terrible! Stupid commercial breaks and guest stars and GAH! It was killing me. Then this was it, I know this was it! "Hey check out this new application I downloaded on my PearPhone..." No, no, no! I wasn't going to miss this for some stupid phone thing that can wait. Grabbing the phone I rub my tongue against the screen and hand it back to him. My version of "NOT NOW!" "Awww. She licked my phone!" He exclaims. We shhhh him. "Don't ever lick my phone again."

I lick it again. _"Don't shut up, and I will!"_ "She did it again." He sighs.

"Freddie, be quiet. Sam, stop licking technology." Carly scolds.

"The winner of America Sings is... going to be one of these two young men. Wade Collins or David Archuleta."

"DAVID! DAVID! DAVID!" Carly and I shout.

"He's not gonna win." Freddie mumbles.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

And there is another break! GAH!

"The winner of this year's America Sings Competition is..."

"Say Archuleta!" Carly shouts.

"Say it." I growl lowly.

"David Archuleta!" We all cheer standing up and dancing slightly. Carly and I hug. Freddie hugs Carly then turns to me. For a moment we decide whether or not we should hug. Telepathically, we decide against it, and look away awkwardly.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Freddie's POV

Running upstairs to the studio, I see Carly and her orange yo-yo, so I decide to show her the screen thing. "Hey! Watch the monitor." I say. It swings out, and she looks at me.

"What about it?"

"I fixed it, so it swings out eighteen percent faster." I smile, proud of my accopmlishment.

She nods a bit. "Okay, you really need to get a girlfriend."

Looking down, Sam comes to mind. I look up smiling. "Ho-"

"No." She smiles sadly.

Spencer races in, and forces us to watch channel ten, because they were talking about iCarly. That was the most insane thing ever what they were saying. We didn't influence the voting. We just... campaigned for him. There's nothing wrong with that. Carly doesn't seem to think that way because Wade Collin's "Mum in hospital" story really got to her. She doesn't take guilt very well, I've learned that much in life. "Hey, we used the power of iCarly to help Archuleta, so why not use it to help Wade." And that was the simple solution to everything. After sending him an e-vite, I head to the mall, time for a little of that girlfriend thing Carly was talking about. "Hey." I say. Of course, she's in the food court. Sam lives for food.

"Hey you're late." She smirked.

"Well, that's nothing normal is it? But we have some news." I say.

"Are we doing the mayo thing." She grins wickedly.

"Not anytime soon." I shake my head. "Wade Collins is going to be on iCarly."

"What?" Sam's face is one of disgust. "Gross! Why?"

"Because we invited him."

"Great, more people..." She frowns.

"Come on, his mom needs surgery." I try, knowing Sam to have a certain stubborness to her. "I'll buy you a meatball sub if you accept him on the show."

Sam frowns for a minute. "With ham?"

"With ham." I roll my eyes and venture off to Sub Mart.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Okay, Freddie needs to stop with the food. It seems he trying to feed my love. Like buying, but more flavorful. It's kind of annoying too because he'll do it whenever he wants to avoid things. Believe it or not, I don't want that kind of relationship. I want him to stop running away and be a man for once. "One meatball and ham sub for Ms. Puckett." I smile lightly, and look down at the food. "What's wrong?" He asked, drinking some Mocha Cola.

"Nothing..." I sigh, grabbing the sandwhich and taking a bite. Then my eyes go wide. "I totally forgot about Spencer's lying lesson!"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Wade Collins was a JERK. A big bulbous jerk. I had that figured out the moment we met him. I can't believe we decided to make him a music video. "My mum's in the hospital boo-hoo-hoo." I mock in the closet with Freddie, at Carly's place.

"Carly, nothing personal, but I hate the guilty side of you." Freddie shakes his head. So yeah, we're making out in a coat closet. We figured, since it's close to summer, that it wouldn't be used because, frankly, it's getting warmer.

Much to our dismay, we were wrong, and Mr. Collins walks in. The two of us widen our eyes in shock and fear as he points his finger hastily at us and shouts, "You're all a bunch of stupid American hobknockers!" And leaves. The mood was ruined.

"Hobknockers?" Freddie asked.

"One who rapes squirrels." I inform.

"Gross!" He shutters.

"And illegal."

"Uh, well... I guess since he's here it's time to get ready for the music video." Freddie and I part ways, him going to the studio, I going to change for the shooting.

"Hey, Sam. Where were you? We have to get ready." Carly calls to me.

"Sorry I was hungry." I hold up a corndog. "Where's my dress?"

Carly looks around. "Freddie picked out this one." She held up the skimpiest thing I've ever seen. I think I need to punch him in the face, or report him for sexual harrassment. Instead, I merely tossed my corndog on it and left, despite hearing Carly's complaints.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The show was about over. Announcing the special quest star was the awesomest part. "Winner of America Sings..."

"Please welcome..." Carly says.

Simultaneously we shout "David Archuleta!" I press the cheer button on my remote.

David was a nice guy, smiled a lot. There was a video we were playing to show the viewing audience how terrible Wade Collins was. In that said video, there was a clip that could involuntarily ruin my life... not to mention Freddie's.

"At the Shambrulet Hotel." I say, explaining the location of said jerk.

"Should we tell them what room?" David asks.

"I don't think we should." Carly shakes her head.

"Room five-thirteen." David smiles evilly into the camera.

"That's five, one, three." Carly pulls up however many fingers.

"And remember, if you're an American..." I start.

"He hates you!" Carly shakes her head.

"And thinks you can't beat him up."

David DOESN'T sing for us, because all the America Sings stuff gave him a sore throat. "And we're clear." Freddie says. "Great show guys." I give him a glare. How could he forget to edit THAT out?

"Might I ask a personal question?" Carly says, biting her lip. I nod slowly, hoping this isn't... "What were you and Freddie doing in the closet together?"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Hahahaha CLIFFHANGER!! Muahahaha I'm evil. So, the idea came to me at last! This had nothing to do with what the summary said. I just couldn't think of it for a while. This chapter has slightly more dialogue. I believe my own personal episode will come next. Btw, who's totally PSYCHED about iFight Shelby Marx? WE'LL MEET SAM'S MOM! How cool is that!? And who's a tad bit confused on iTwins? Cuz I am. Anyway, reviews are welcome. Later!  
~obsessive-elphaba_


	7. iGo To the Movies

_This is my own episode called "iGo To the Movies" and it may very well be my surprise for iDate A Bad Boy is moved forward. I was soooo disappointed we didn't meet Sam's mom in iFight. PSSH! Please review, criticism welcome. And iMay Delete This Soon... PS, idancex33- if you are reading this and see the word "Wrestle" continue iWorkout. Please, for me?  
_~obsessive-elphaba

"Yeah, I was wondering the same thing." David laughed, smiling. "I thought you guys hated each other."

Think Puckett, think! "Umm..." Think... think... think... BRAIN BLAST! "Carly, I lied about being late with the food. I was actually..." Freddie gave me a warning look, which I shot back with an you-already-crossed-the-line glare. "Giving dorko a wedgie. That's why he was late."

"In the closet?" Carly looks so confused.

"Where else would the dork hide?" I shout, nearly all my irritant nature seeping through my teeth.

"So you guys were wrapped around each other..."

"Wrestling." Freddie answers faster than he should.

"And you didn't tell me because..."

"You want us to tell you every fight we have?" I snap. "Just don't let it happen again, Fredjerk." I walk downstairs.

Freddie is soon with me, Carly left alone upstairs. "Hey, are you mad at me?" He asks.

"Uh, YEAH!" I snap. "You nearly ruined our secret!"

"Sorry." Freddie looks down like a puppy dog that lost his steak. His sweet juicy steak...

"Just don't let it happen again." He smiles sheepishly.

"So... you wanna get a smoothie?"

"No." I shake my head.

"No?" He asks.

"I don't want you to _buy _my love." Did I really just say love? Gross! Freddie raises an eyebrow. "That means no buying me food to avoid something."

Freddie nods. "Okay..." Then he smiles. "Can I still take you to the movies tonight?"

"Ham yeah!" I say.

"Good." He says and kisses me. It feels weird to be... out in public like this. And at my best friend's house making out? NOT in the coat closet? It's weird, but I don't break away until...

"OH MY GOD!" That loud screaming shocked what-the-heck-just-happened voice.... I pull away to see Spencer making his usual face to fit that voice.

"Heya... Spence." Freddie salutes sheepishly.

"Spencer." I nod.

Spencer on the other hand says, "What the- were you just- WHAT IS GOING ON?!" And some other stuff that I will not post.

"It's a long, complicated story." Freddie rubs the back of his head.

"You won't tell anyone, right?" I say.

But before the "adult" can finish Freddie pulls me out the door. "Great! Thanks, Spence!" Freddie calls. I laugh and run to the elevator. Mrs. Benson enters the elevator we had been in. Freddie quickly removes his arm from my waist and moves away.

"Erm, Mom, what are you doing..."

"Out?" I finish. It is rather unusual for her to be here.

"Freddie Benson, where are you going? Why aren't you applying your anti-tick lotion?

"Here we go again." I groan. We're never gonna get out of here!

"Mom, I don't have ticks!" He sighed. "Let's go." Freddie nods in my direction.

"Where are you two going?" Of course...

"Groovy Smoothie." I lie.

"Alone?"

"Carly is already there." Freddie responds too quickly.

"Then why aren't you with her now?"

"Cuz... she left earlier."

"I was on the toilet." I say. That should be a reasonable excuse for her. Would work for me.

Freddie turns to me, a look of disgust in his face, but his eyes tell me he's amused. "Come on, Mom. We have to get off on this floor."

"You mind if I... hang with you guys? You think it would be tight if I just chilled." I smirk at Freddie for a split second then quickly beg him to change her mind. Mama _needs _some lip action here.

"Umm, why don't you join us another time? It would be much more... convenient!" He smiles a bit.

"What do you mean 'convenient?'" I _really _hope this doesn't last too long...

"Ugh!" I groan, grab the dork's arm and drag him away. He might not be able to ditch his mom like that, but I can. We walk slowly to the movie theater. "What are we gonna see?" I feel so awkward. This is our first whole _public _appearance. If anyone we know saw us, I would die; he would die, and then everyone else would die eventually.

"What looks good?" He says, probably hoping I won't pick that horror movie that just came out.

"How about 'Bigger Dipper?'" I ask, pointing at the poster.

"That's a romantic comedy." He gives me a look, knowing full well that's not my type of film.

But, like I said, I was desperate for some making out, and it's really hard to do that in "Buried In Blood." And, I guess I'll be nice and let Fredward have his way for once. "I know that." I shrug.

He gives me one more confused look before we walk to the ticket counter. "Two tickets to 'Bigger Dipper,' please." Freddie says in one of his suck up polite voices. I suppress a chortle at how stupid a thought that was. Freddie polite? Yeah right!

"That'll be $15." We pay, get our (my) food and drinks and head to the theater.

Normal POV

Carly Shay sat in the theater with Wendy. It was really coincidental how she would call right after Freddie and Sam left. The two both wanted to see that movie "Bigger Dipper" they thought it would be great fun to watch together. Halfway through the movie, Wendy nudged Carly and whispered, "Isn't that Sam and Freddie?" She pointed to a pair near the front.

"It looks like them." Carly squinted to get a better view. Wait a minute... it looked like Freddie had his arm around Sam? Was she seeing this right?

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Wendy asked.

"I think so..." Carly muttered. She wished she had binoculars, because right now, her two best friends appeared to be lip locking. Luckily the movie was just ending so the vision was on and off blocked by people.

"Let's go see!" Wendy ran down to the front.

Freddie's POV

I was enjoying this. What's more fun than lying to your mom, watching a good movie, and making out with your girlfriend - and in public? Nothing, at least that's what I was thinking. I was in heaven then I fell off Cloud Nine and turned away. "What?" Sam asked, obviously annoyed.

"Left." I hissed, right before zipping out of that theater, with no intentions of stopping.

Sam's POV

I am so pissed at Wendy right now. She totally ruined my make out time. I smile awkwardly. Hey, Wendy."

"Hi, Sam?" Carly appears behind her.

"Why were you kissing Freddie?" Wendy was bubbly.

"Ew! Why would I kiss Freddie?" I shiver in disgust. I knew it was too early to go public. I mean, we've been going out for nearly a week. How dumb are we, thinking we can fly under the radar after so little time.

"We saw you kissing him, just now." Carly looked up. "It's okay if you did."

"Gross! Not in a million years!" I shout. "That wasn't Freddork." They look confused. "That was... Damian. He's my boyfriend." I force my cheeks to redden.

"Damian?" Wendy asked, skeptical.

"He goes to another school. I didn't tell you guys because he's not the coolest of guys..." I'm not lying. He's not the coolest, and I don't know Freddie's middle name - maybe it's Damian.

"Why did he run off like that?" Carly asked.

"He... had to go." I offer.

"Can we meet him?" Wendy asked.

"No!" I answer too quickly. "He's not the best with words. He hates people, if you can believe it." I chuckle. "And he's not the best at speaking English..."

"Wow, Sam. Why are you dating him then?" Carly asks.

"It's complicated." I nod, unsure of myself. Damian. The name fits well.

"Well, okay. We were just wondering." Carly says. Wendy looks disappointed. "Well, we'll let you and Damian finish up your date." Carly smirks, knowing how much I hate that word.

"Thanks." I mutter, evidently sickened. Carly and Wendy giggle and leave.

I sigh and wait for Freddie to enter the theater again. "Close call." He sighs from behind me.

I nearly jump. "Yeah." I nod. "Have I introduced you to my boyfriend Damian?"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Yup, it's short, but alas, gets rid of the cliffy. Damian will be a big part of this story. :o) REVIEW IT OR SCREW IT! Tell me if I should keep this up because it is losing it's touch :( Jimmy Neutron and iCarly is not mine  
_~obsessive-elphaba


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